I am in my early twenties, plagued with the shock and responsibility that is adulthood. I have been living with my partner for going on a year, and during this time I have learned a lot about myself. Mainly, the obsessions I never knew I possessed, and the compulsions that have made themselves known.
In other words, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. No, I am not a hoarder or ‘clean freak’ where everything has to be ‘just right’. That isn’t always the case for people with OCD, yet that is the main thought that goes through people’s minds as soon as they hear those three letters. Instead, I have ugly intrusive thoughts race around my mind over and over, I have anxieties that I have killed or done something unforgivable to the people I love most. I am living in fear of the repercussions of crimes that I have never committed. Like an alternative universe where I deserve to be punished and shamed, when in reality… I should know better.
So, I have been inspired!
I want to be sharing mine and other people’s experiences of living with OCD. I will be opening up parts of my life that are probably best hidden in the ‘Nobody needs to know this, so keep hidden.’ chamber of my brain. But, if it means it will help others like me, raise awareness, and educate those who aren’t sure, then so be it.
Abi x
Obsessive Compulsive Existence 